All out of sorts

Greetings,



Meet Logan.... my cousin , but more like a nephew.

Logan, his mom Danelle, and Kevin (my mom's brother) live in Charlotte, NC. The only other member of the immediate family to live outside the 3 mile radius.

The picture was taken as Logan and his mom traveled to Lowes to pick out their Christmas tree. Only Logan had a little "accident" and had to retreat back to the car for a change of clothes. As you can see he was stripped down and had to return home. He looks so disappointed.

I think the picture is absolutely adorable. If you know Logan's personality... he is the sweetest little bugger. His disposition is gentle and loving. He seems to never meet a stranger. So to see him look so disposed...seems just wrong.

But after being de clothed, cleaned up, and on his way home he seems so sad.

It reminds me of myself.... I can be dressed and ready. Eager to go in to something full force....and then wham. An "accident" or disaster. Then you find yourself stripped down, naked, and venerable wondering what how it all went wrong?

But sometimes that is the best place to be. Down to your bare bum and waiting on the Father. Stripped down and broken. In that state is where I find myself ..when God is trying to tell or teach me something and I am not wanting to listen. He is trying to get through to me, but in my hardheadedness I am so busy going down the aisles of life... pushing my cart... trying to find my Christmas tree... not paying attention to others... that He has to stop me in my tracks. However the "accident" happens... it is a show stopper. One that stops me wether I want to or not. One that causes me stop and reevaluate my circumstances.

An example... after Harry and I were married I was on the fast track to Law School... or so I thought. I was no longer working so I double timed my schooling. A 20+ hour semester was the norm. There were even several semesters that I was enrolled at 2 universities.

Life was busy.... studying, keeping house, working on applications. The question was which Law School do I attend. There are a few in Atlanta, but all focusing on corporate law. Not my cup of tea. I wanted international human rights. That's what I love. Like I have said before....that is my life's theme song. I love a good injustice. Well, not like that. I love to fight a good injustice.

The closest school for my hearts desire was Duke University. Still quite a ways away. Harry was still full time flying plus overtime. We were not sure if we wanted to relocate or just commute back and forth to and from Atlanta.

I remember Harry's dad, Big H, remarking on how a young couple just starting out could not make it through a separation such as we were thinking. And I remember how infuriating I was with his parents. To me it seemed like they wanted me to sit at home, keep house, and make babies or something. They did not want me to have a career of my own. Harry began expressing concerns... financial, geographical location hardships, etc.

Wow... hard times now at the Hansen household. In just a blink of an eye.

I began to resent Harry and his family. I was having a hard time with this whole marriage thing anyway. I was and continue to be very independent. So 2 becoming 1 was a little hard for me to grasp. And I felt the Hansen's were stifling me. And now Harry was listening to them. I am very supportive with everything Harry has ever done. I did not understand why Harry would not do the same for me. It caused a rift between us. Small at first, but it began to grow. And it had the potential to become damaging to our happy ever.

I even became mad at God. I had married the man I thought was in God's will, now Harry seemed to be crushing my desires, and in turn I blamed God a little. Again I was pushing my cart through aisles of life and not paying attention to anything else. Just me and my cart.... pulling items off the shelf and filling my own cart. Not thinking of the devastating effects of what my purchases would have on others. I was too independent for far too long. But it was the only thing I knew.

There's more to the story.... but for another day. In short, all the hard work in school went out the window. My last semester before graduation... Harry and I took a mission trip to Ukraine with our church. Again long story... but God had moved me to a point where the 2 week mission trip turned into 2 months. I stayed. I felt God directing me to stay with the kids in Ukraine. I had no clue what to do, but I had to stay. I had to drop out of my last semester. I had permission to stay for 2 weeks not 2 months.

But God had an education far greater than anything I could have been thought at Georgia State University. Of course I did not know it at the time, but God was going to show me my hearts longing. Let me live me desire.

I thought I wanted international human rights. God gave me a crash course that summer in Kiev, Ukraine. He showed me the need for human rights. He showed me how to love the unlovables... and not just on paper, but in my heart. He gave me kids faces to leave an impression on my heart. I had a love for law and thought I had the love for international kids and their well being. He showed me what it was like for these kids. The poverty, sickness, and destitution they lived through.

I had my cart full and ready to check out. Trying to figure out what check out lane to use. Yet God was not ready for that just yet. I did not see it then , but hindsight again has thought me so much. He has a plan for me. This life is not self check out... or if they is they lane you choose you will miss the Glory He has for your life.

"I was naked and you clothed Me;

I was sick and you visited Me;

I was in prison and you came to Me."

Matthew 25:36

And for my favorite part.....

"‘Assuredly, I say to you,

inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren,

you did it to Me.’

Matthew 25:45

I wanted to feed and cloth the kids, but I had not learned that when I did it to the least of these I am really do it to HIM. Or the things I withhold I am withholding from Him. And that was what He was trying to teach me. That's what He wanted to show me before I went off half cocked and ready to take on the world.



And that's why when I see poor Logan's face in the picture.... I chuckle a little....it reminds me of me own disappointment when God had to stop me.... when He put the brakes on my cart... sent me back to the car... stripped me down.... tossed me back in the co-pilots seat... and waited for me to sit back and listen to Him... allow Him to show me what He had in store for me.



And I am so thankful for the experience.



Blessings to those stripped down and all out of sorts,

Kristie