Paul and Silence

The kids and I had an interesting Sunday school lesson… Paul and Silas. The Chapel has the Veggie Tales Connection Sunday school curriculum, Harry consistently calls it Sponge Bob. No clue why, he just does. He has never even seen a Sponge Bob episode, nor a Veggie Tales for that matter, but for some odd reason Sponge Bob has stuck. I should show him an episode of each…maybe then he will see the difference from the adult humored under water creature and talking vegetables with no arms. I don't see the problem.

Anyway, the lesson …Paul and Silas….for those of you not familiar….

Paul and Silas are seized, stripped, beaten, bound, and tossed into prison. Around midnight while Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God a great earthquake occurred. So great that the foundations of the prison were shaken, door flew open, and their bonds came loose.


Once the jailer realized what had happened and the ramifications of losing the prisoners…he drew his sword to kill himself. Paul replies, “Do not harm yourself, for we are all here.”

The story goes on to describe how Paul shared the word of the Lord to the jailer and his family. Later baptizing the jailer and his entire household. You can find the story in Acts 16:16-36.


The kids lesson was on worshipping God. Learning to worship God even when you are bound. Worshipping when you do not feel like worshipping. Praising and worshipping are pleasing to God. The kids got it.

We even made a little fort / prison with Priority mail boxes. We would sing and worship followed by the earthquake. I would ask the prisoner questions, “Paul, do you run away?” “Paul, what did you say to the jailer and his family?” “Paul, what happened at the jailer’s house?” They would answer and we would start the process over again with the next kid. I think the earthquake was their favorite part. I had a little apprehension for the poor child in prison as the walls / boxes came flying down on them....some with great force. But they enjoyed every minute of it and so did I actually.

However, something stirred in me the next few days. I felt a spirit of conviction…. I felt like the story was speaking to me differently. Something I had overlooked then and all the times before. Something I had asked the kids and they had answered. Something I felt like God was asking me and I did not have a good answer for.

I had asked the kids during the earthquake,

“Do you run away?”

“No”…they would shout.

“Why?”… I would shout.

“Because we do not want to get the jailer in trouble.”


I felt … like God showing me a different side to the story.


Paul and Silas did a completely unselfish act. They stayed. Me…. I would have seen the earthquake as a sign from God to get the heck out of there. Hey, He sent a earthquake …released my bonds… and I am out of here. See Ya. God is so good …He can shake down the prison walls and set me free. I would have praised and glorified Him, but I still would have left. Out. Gone. Nothing but dust. Outy 5000, or whatever it is that the kids say now. I probably would not have even looked backed to see the jailer with his sword drawn ready to kill himself. I would have high tailed it to the next town where people liked me. Where I was safe.

But not Paul and Silas…. And I think this point caused such conviction in my soul last week and has continued until today.

The question keeps going on and on in my head. God was asking me,

“How many times have your selfish desires been to the determent of others?”

“How many times have your actions caused others harm?”

“How many ways have you hurt others when you could have turned around … saw their pain and helped?”

and more poignantly…


“How many times have your words caused pain to others?”


Wow, that one hit below the belt. Or square in the face. Right in the kisser (so to speak)…and all the other cliques. You see… for those of you who do not know me that well… and for those who do know me very well… I have a uncanny way with words. And not always in a positive light. You see they just come flying out my mouth. Thoughts into my head and out my mouth they come. And many times without passing through my “Jesus filter”.


Sarcasm is a coping mechanism I use quite frequently. Not all the time, but fairly regularly. I make comments about things I should really think about first. Comments that on the surface are not damaging, but further investigation reveals discomfort for another. I say things without thinking of the ramifications to others. And in this... I have allowed my actions to cause harm to others. Most of the time unknowingly. Certainly not intentionally. I have dishonored His name with my actions... with my words. I have not glorified His kingdom with my selfish desires to make a silly witty comment. When just a little silence would have made all the difference.


Aurgh… the number of times I have wished I could take something back. What a humbling experience when you realize you have hurt someones feelings. I am not saying I try to do this...and I am not saying I do it all the time. It's just something I am becoming aware of here recently.

Yet, the greatest conviction was the feeling of when I have said things that hurt and did not want to take them back. I wanted my words to sting the other person. I wanted the sharpness of my tongue to be a sword that slices. Then even though I feel guilty... my pride keeps me from saying, "I'm sorry." My foolish pride has been a hard thing to relinquish. My stubbornness an exterior as tough as a tortuous shell. And this is what I felt God was speaking to me the other night.


For the past week now….I have not been able to sleep fully through the night. That’s how God speaks to me. I the stillness of night. When I was working with the kids in Ukraine…God would give me fundraising ideas, networking capabilities, and supply runs in the middle of the night. When I had the youth ministry for 2 years….my ideas came in the middle of the night. Or at least the most interesting ones. When I have written plays….yelp, you guest it…..they came in the middle of the night. So much so that I keep a pad of paper on the bedside table. So I guess it is fitting…Paul and Silas’s earthquake came in the middle of the night and so to… did mine. The earthquake that caused such a conviction within me … and has me expressing my desire for forgiveness to you guys now.


So my desire in the next coming weeks….to suppress my tongue. To silence the sarcasm. To let my tongue glorify and not destroy. To magnify the Most High. And not have one of my many flaws magnified.


One of my favorite songs….I Bless Your Name by Selah

In prisoners' chains

With bleeding stripes

Paul and Silas prayed that night

And in their pain

Began to sing

Their chains were loosed

And they were free

I bless Your Name

I bless Your Name

I give You honor

Give You praise

You are the Life The Truth, the Way

I bless Your Name

I bless Your Name

Some midnight hour

If you should find

You're in a prison

In your mind

Sing out in praise

Defy the chains

And they will fall

In Jesus' Name


So these coming weeks Lord…. I want to Bless Your Name… in my midnight hour I want to defy the chains of my selfish desires and in Jesus name I want to Bless Your name.


Blessings to those with a wholesome tongue,

Kristie

**It may be hard to do…especially since I will be traveling back to the states for the holidays…..but maybe I can get some sleep now!**