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Vacation has begun….
Harry is officially on leave and we have left the island. Quite an adventure this has been.
Harry began the morning with his leave paper work still in the approving process. His morning started at 5 a.m. trying to get the proper signatures in all the proper places. My morning began by locking myself in the Chapel bathroom. I was there several minutes before Harry found me. After several attempts to free me and Harry manhandling the door… I was finally out.
Unfortunately the trouble did not stop there….. you see when wee travel typically one of us have bad luck. I thought because of the troubles with Harry’s paperwork it was going to be him!
How wrong I was….. the next mishap began with the flight off the island. Harry and I were separated seating wise…. Harry got the good seat….beside one of our friends from South Africa….I on the other hand seat beside what I thought was a nice Greek man and in front of a nice English woman and her 2 kids……Or so I thought!
The kid behind me did not want to confine herself to the seatbelt. Understandably, 2 year-old can be a bit of a handle on an airplane during naptime. The cute kid…. upon forcibly being made to sit down and buckle up began kicking the seat in front of her. That’s right … my seat! I could not for the life of me figure out how her tiny short legs could even reach me. But they did…. and quite forcibly.
For 30 minutes the kid screamed at the highest octave and for the longest I have ever heard from such a small creature. Fortunately for me…. The mother after take-off held the kid in her seat with her. Unfortunately for the gentleman beside me. Because then the kid constantly kicked his seat. I tried hard not to laugh, but every few seconds the guy got a jolt from behind. Out of the corner of my eye I would see him lurch forward.
This went on for several minutes until the nice gentleman than turns to the frustrated mother and unleashes…. “Can you not handle your child? Can you not keep her from kicking my seat? Would you like me to hold her since you have no clue what you are doing?” Next comes the fury from the aggravated mother….. needless to say a brawl ensued, which required the flight attendant to separate my feuding seatmates.
Hoping this was my last of the universe sticking it to me… I was wrong. The next flight to Amsterdam was adventuresome just the same. Harry and I were separated again. I sat in the middle of a nice lady and a “ladies man”… you know the kind. Older, flirtatious, suave. And drunk. But not too annoying. Only when he fell asleep and snored louder than anyone I know. Those deep inhaling, down to the very fibers of his inner lungs. Then as drunken stupors go…. he stretches out into my area.
And those of you who know me. I am not the touchy feely kind. Handshakes are good. I am not a hugger. AND… those of you who truly know me….know I take on average about 3 baths a day. I do not like to feel unclean, sweaty, dirty or feel anything other than my soaps from home. I even like the same smells. I use the same shampoo, soap, shaving cream, toothpaste, etc. I do not like to touch common areas. I do not like for others to touch me.
Therefore, when the gentleman decides to stretch out into my area it makes me a little uncomfortable. His legs were touching mine… I move over a bit….which just gives him more room to stretch out. His arm it not hogging the armrest. It is not even on the armrest…..because it is all the way over on my side. Practically in my lap. Touching my leg. Repeatedly I move his arm back to HIS side… only to have him encroach upon my space once again.
And that was not even the worst part. He kept waking himself up snoring and would then cough and spit into his handkerchief. That is the most disgusting thing to me. Spitting. And this guy spat into his handkerchief about 10 times. Making me nauseous every time. Wow what a flight!
However, the night was not over!
The flight to Thailand from Copenhagen…… was the topper on the cake…. the cherry on the ice-cream… the stuff only made for comedy television.
I find my seat…. separated from Harry yet again. I am in the middle…again. I am sitting between a Thai lady…. Thai and only Thai speaking lady. And a guy from Denmark who should not been allowed to board this flight. I only thought the other guy from the last flight was drunk. This guy was loud, slurring, stumbling, and quite a nuisance to everyone around. I kind-of felt sorry for him in the beginning. He was trying to hit on the Thai lady beside me. Me and the 4 rows in front of and behind know his entire life story.
I find my eye mask, blankets, and drugs and settle in for what I hope to be a long nights sleep. Hah! The guy beside me keeps bumping into me. Falling unto me. Keeps asking me questions that I try to ignore. After the journey today beginning from Souda around 10 am and the flight out of Copenhagen left at midnight… I was quite exhausted. And beginning to become irritated. I had only had 1 bath total within the last 24 hours. ½ baths in airport restrooms just do not cut it.
I fall asleep. I think the drugs finally began to work…..the Thai lady beside me wakes me up when the drinks arrive. “No thanks” I say. Go back to sleep. The Thai lady taps me on the arm again, wakes me again to show me the when food arrives. “No thanks, I say as I smile at her. Another tap… I am beginning to feel a little aggravated with this nice Thai lady. I lift my eye patch to see if it’s dessert….
Nope. Definitely not dessert. I peak through the bottom of my eye patch.. wait for my eye to adjust to the light… and finally look at Thai lady. She is not pointing (our way of communicating) to food or towards the flight attendant. She is pointing to my lap. In a surreal way I turn and look in my lap. What I see does not register at first? “What is this? What did I do?” I think. Then the Thai lady points to drunk guy sitting beside me.
That’s when I see him hunched over with the airlines barf bag in his face. He is covered in vomit and that’s when I realize that I AM COVERED in vomit as well. Oh, could the night get any worse?
No, but the drama did not stop there…. the flight attendants tended nicely to drunk guy. They brought him oxygen. A 2-½ feet tank of oxygen weighing about 25 pounds. Of course drunk guy could not hold this himself. He could barely hold himself up much less this tank. It constantly lands in my lap or between on legs. So me and Thai lady stayed quite close the remaining of the night. Drunk guy was sick the entire flight. I should have been more concerned with him and his health. I just was not. I wanted a bath!
Harry and I finally arrived in Thailand. Checked into our hotel. I immediately took a shower in the hottest water I could get out of the showerhead. Harry settled into the room with 24-hour coverage of Fox News.
Harry is officially on leave and we have left the island. Quite an adventure this has been.
Harry began the morning with his leave paper work still in the approving process. His morning started at 5 a.m. trying to get the proper signatures in all the proper places. My morning began by locking myself in the Chapel bathroom. I was there several minutes before Harry found me. After several attempts to free me and Harry manhandling the door… I was finally out.
Unfortunately the trouble did not stop there….. you see when wee travel typically one of us have bad luck. I thought because of the troubles with Harry’s paperwork it was going to be him!
How wrong I was….. the next mishap began with the flight off the island. Harry and I were separated seating wise…. Harry got the good seat….beside one of our friends from South Africa….I on the other hand seat beside what I thought was a nice Greek man and in front of a nice English woman and her 2 kids……Or so I thought!
The kid behind me did not want to confine herself to the seatbelt. Understandably, 2 year-old can be a bit of a handle on an airplane during naptime. The cute kid…. upon forcibly being made to sit down and buckle up began kicking the seat in front of her. That’s right … my seat! I could not for the life of me figure out how her tiny short legs could even reach me. But they did…. and quite forcibly.
For 30 minutes the kid screamed at the highest octave and for the longest I have ever heard from such a small creature. Fortunately for me…. The mother after take-off held the kid in her seat with her. Unfortunately for the gentleman beside me. Because then the kid constantly kicked his seat. I tried hard not to laugh, but every few seconds the guy got a jolt from behind. Out of the corner of my eye I would see him lurch forward.
This went on for several minutes until the nice gentleman than turns to the frustrated mother and unleashes…. “Can you not handle your child? Can you not keep her from kicking my seat? Would you like me to hold her since you have no clue what you are doing?” Next comes the fury from the aggravated mother….. needless to say a brawl ensued, which required the flight attendant to separate my feuding seatmates.
Hoping this was my last of the universe sticking it to me… I was wrong. The next flight to Amsterdam was adventuresome just the same. Harry and I were separated again. I sat in the middle of a nice lady and a “ladies man”… you know the kind. Older, flirtatious, suave. And drunk. But not too annoying. Only when he fell asleep and snored louder than anyone I know. Those deep inhaling, down to the very fibers of his inner lungs. Then as drunken stupors go…. he stretches out into my area.
And those of you who know me. I am not the touchy feely kind. Handshakes are good. I am not a hugger. AND… those of you who truly know me….know I take on average about 3 baths a day. I do not like to feel unclean, sweaty, dirty or feel anything other than my soaps from home. I even like the same smells. I use the same shampoo, soap, shaving cream, toothpaste, etc. I do not like to touch common areas. I do not like for others to touch me.
Therefore, when the gentleman decides to stretch out into my area it makes me a little uncomfortable. His legs were touching mine… I move over a bit….which just gives him more room to stretch out. His arm it not hogging the armrest. It is not even on the armrest…..because it is all the way over on my side. Practically in my lap. Touching my leg. Repeatedly I move his arm back to HIS side… only to have him encroach upon my space once again.
And that was not even the worst part. He kept waking himself up snoring and would then cough and spit into his handkerchief. That is the most disgusting thing to me. Spitting. And this guy spat into his handkerchief about 10 times. Making me nauseous every time. Wow what a flight!
However, the night was not over!
The flight to Thailand from Copenhagen…… was the topper on the cake…. the cherry on the ice-cream… the stuff only made for comedy television.
I find my seat…. separated from Harry yet again. I am in the middle…again. I am sitting between a Thai lady…. Thai and only Thai speaking lady. And a guy from Denmark who should not been allowed to board this flight. I only thought the other guy from the last flight was drunk. This guy was loud, slurring, stumbling, and quite a nuisance to everyone around. I kind-of felt sorry for him in the beginning. He was trying to hit on the Thai lady beside me. Me and the 4 rows in front of and behind know his entire life story.
I find my eye mask, blankets, and drugs and settle in for what I hope to be a long nights sleep. Hah! The guy beside me keeps bumping into me. Falling unto me. Keeps asking me questions that I try to ignore. After the journey today beginning from Souda around 10 am and the flight out of Copenhagen left at midnight… I was quite exhausted. And beginning to become irritated. I had only had 1 bath total within the last 24 hours. ½ baths in airport restrooms just do not cut it.
I fall asleep. I think the drugs finally began to work…..the Thai lady beside me wakes me up when the drinks arrive. “No thanks” I say. Go back to sleep. The Thai lady taps me on the arm again, wakes me again to show me the when food arrives. “No thanks, I say as I smile at her. Another tap… I am beginning to feel a little aggravated with this nice Thai lady. I lift my eye patch to see if it’s dessert….
Nope. Definitely not dessert. I peak through the bottom of my eye patch.. wait for my eye to adjust to the light… and finally look at Thai lady. She is not pointing (our way of communicating) to food or towards the flight attendant. She is pointing to my lap. In a surreal way I turn and look in my lap. What I see does not register at first? “What is this? What did I do?” I think. Then the Thai lady points to drunk guy sitting beside me.
That’s when I see him hunched over with the airlines barf bag in his face. He is covered in vomit and that’s when I realize that I AM COVERED in vomit as well. Oh, could the night get any worse?
No, but the drama did not stop there…. the flight attendants tended nicely to drunk guy. They brought him oxygen. A 2-½ feet tank of oxygen weighing about 25 pounds. Of course drunk guy could not hold this himself. He could barely hold himself up much less this tank. It constantly lands in my lap or between on legs. So me and Thai lady stayed quite close the remaining of the night. Drunk guy was sick the entire flight. I should have been more concerned with him and his health. I just was not. I wanted a bath!
Harry and I finally arrived in Thailand. Checked into our hotel. I immediately took a shower in the hottest water I could get out of the showerhead. Harry settled into the room with 24-hour coverage of Fox News.
The first day of our vacation consisted of 3 showers for me, Harry non-stop Election Day coverage, and yummy Thai noodles delivered by room service. Tomorrow we will begin the tourist stuff. But we needed the day to unwind! Especially considering what we went through.
Blessings until next time,
Kristie
1 comment:
This sounds like a segment on a comedy show! I know for you it wasn't in the least funny. I think you should write these things and send them into a tv show, you could get some big bucks for these unfortunate events.
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